My husband went on a hunting trip last Wednesday. I've been on my own for a few days. It has been easier than when the kids were very young, but I've been driving and driving and driving. They have activities such as tutoring, piano, guitar, and sports. Today was a very busy, but fun day. Still, I don't know how single parents keep their sanity. I'm exhausted. And lonely. So, one of the carriers at the airport is hiring. I applied and am waiting to hear back. I don't know if I'm ready for the early mornings but I need to be around people and feel like I'm doing something worthwhile. I still volunteer but that's about it for getting out and about. It sucks to be an extrovert sometimes. I'm missing being around family too. I enjoyed Christmas break so much. It was fun to hang out with my sister and her husband. It was great seeing my parents. I saw my brother's granddaughters. Sigh. I'm working on my attitude on living in the cold north. As my mom once told me, "Bloom where you're planted."
It's the end of 2014 and I hope this year was everything you wanted it to be. I've had good health this year, as so my family. I just saw my parents and siblings and their families for the holidays. I'm aware of the limited times I will get to be with all my relatives for the next Christmases to come. Sometimes it feels like time stands still and other times it moves so quickly that I can't catch my breath.
I'm thankful for my children even though it is hard sometimes parenting. But, I would rather take my role seriously than raise children who grow up to be a burden on society. I'm lucky, so far.
I got to go home for the holidays this year. Thanks to my sister using miles to fly all four of us home. We had a good time. The kids learned to play poker! Hahaha! Nothing like going to the Bible Belt to learn to play poker. Pete and I worked out everyday at a fitness club. It helped us from gaining that weight that we usually pack on. I got to go to my favorite place in Fayetteville--Hugo's. The kids got to eat at Sonic. I even got some yummy donuts from the south! I love coming home. It's always so hard to leave. :( So, I hope next year brings peace to you and yours. Happy new year!
I made a tomato tart last night. So simple. I made the crust and then put it in the tart pan with removable sides that I bought in France. It consisted of mozzarella, basil, tomato slices, olive oil, salt and pepper. I added garlic last night, too. My son inhaled it. My husband was appreciative. My daughter ate a small slice. While I started making this recipe in the summer with all the cherry tomatoes that sprouted from the compost, it seemed to be a perfect recipe for this time of year with all the red and green from the tomatoes and basil. Of course, I had to buy the veggies for this at Christmas time, but that's OK. Christmas time. I can't seem to get excited about anything. I feel so alone most of the time. I miss being near family and having close friends. I recently had a second interview at a place I already volunteer, but they went for the candidate with supervisory experience. I felt like this would be my ticket to get back into the workforce and be around people. I suck at being a homemaker. Oh, I know that for a fact because my husband tells me so. Oh well. First world problem and I need to pull myself up by my bootstraps. At least, I got bootstraps. So many people don't. I love to bake, especially this time of year. Sugar cookies, peanut butter blossoms, Mexican wedding cookies. I love decorating the sugar cookies with butter cream frosting. A chance to be creative. I actually can control myself around the cookies, too. I guess when you can bake whatever, it's not a treat. This year I want to bake a Buche de Noel. I made one a few years ago but I think I can do better this year. One of the blessing about not working is I can take the time during the day to bake. I need to start blogging again. It can be therapeutic.
I've been in a funk for a couple of days. It's cold in central PA and the sky is gray. I think it even snowed a little today. It's going to be a long winter. Exercising always seems to help. As much as I don't like running inside on the treadmill, I feel it's going to be necessary. I prefer to run outside past the dairy operation and the farm where we got our two cats. There's an open grate bridge and then some horse stables on my run, too. I looked forward to the familiar scenery on my runs in the warm weather. I'm one of those who wishes summer would last forever. Don't get me wrong, I love spring and fall when each season lasts 3 months (like where I grew up). But, there isn't much of a spring up here. And winter is too long. Last year's winter was never ending and it was so cold. Even my hardy Northerner husband grew tired of the cold and snow.
What else is on my pea brain? Not much except I'm busy running my kids around and I love it. I've learned to love my job of being a mother. I know that sounds weird, but for years I think I resented being a mother. A selfish attitude that I'm glad to no longer possess. Yes, I've had a change and I'm better for it. There will come a day when I miss these moments of dropping kids off here and there. The little conversations and questions that crop up in the car. So, here's to new attitudes.