Blue

I attended a memorial service today for a 25 year old who ended his own life.  No parent should ever have to bury their own child.  The church was packed.  Every person who spoke did eloquently--not too short, not too long.  

I've never felt so down or hopeless that I didn't want to be here.  But, people actually do have those feelings.  It's so hard to reconcile that people are in that much pain.  It makes me very sad to think of their suffering.  

I took my son with me today.  There were so many young adults in the church.  My son is the same age as the brother who was left behind.  They go to high school together and attend Sunday school together.  I know the mom from church and other things.  She is a lovely person who has had a lot of tragedy in her life--not including this one.  My prayer is for strength for both of them.  I pray they will feel the love of Christ surrounding them.  

This was the first funeral/memorial that I attended where a parent has outlived the child.  In all my days, I hope I never have to experience another one.  

Tonight we are hosting some scientists from China.  I think they have been in town for a few days.  One of them was here a few years ago for several months.  He's a nice guy.  I think we'll have burgers and hot dogs.  I mean, we can't serve them Chinese Food, can we?!?!  I'm such a slacker though.  I used to make homemade desserts (I'm good at it) but I haven't had time this week.  I like working full time but it cuts into my creativity!  And housework.  

Other than that, there is not a lot going on.  A birthday party (dinner party) to attend to Saturday evening with friends.  I'm looking forward to a lazy Saturday morning...

Happy Fall!

Hello!  It's been a while.  Things are going well.  My daughter is a senior (AACK) and my son is a sophomore in high school.  Time really does fly.  

We have become "house poor" with the addition, but so happy to be able to host dinner parties.  It's nice not being embarrassed of one's home!  Now, I love having people over!

My title of "happy fall" is sort of misleading.  I like fall...as long as it doesn't end too quickly.  I'm not a fan of winter.  I like the crisp, cool days of sunshine that September gives.  It won't be too long before the skies stay gray and it turns colder.  I know I shouldn't wish the days away, but in the next few months, I most definitely will.

And then there is my daughter and her senior year in high school.  In some ways, I wish I could stop time or make it slow down a bit.  I feel the need to savor every moment with her knowing that next year things will change.  I'm sure she will be ready, though.  And a teenager daughter is not always easy to get along with.  There are the mood swings and drama of high school kids.  Hard classes (she frets over anything that is not an A) and essay writing for colleges.  Field hockey practice every day when there is not a game.  She's a starter this year, so there's that.  I love hearing her name over the loud speaker.  I know that next year this will just be a memory.  The house will be feel different next year for sure.