I'm still thinking about what I want to do when I grow up. I've talked with some women about the RN thing and I'm getting some good insight. I also found out there is another university that offers the associates program for RN. I think I have some options. But, one thing I know is I need to be here for my kiddos. So, that will be the tricky part--finding a job/career that allows some flexibility with my family. I'm blessed--we don't need my salary to put food on the table and I need to start recognizing that maybe, just maybe, my job right now is to be here for the family. Taking it for the team, they say.

I think it's an ego thing for me. There is something about having a job that is valued in society and getting paid for it. Motherhood is one of those jobs that the American society does not value anymore and you sure don't get paid to do it. And being a homemaker is not valued for sure! If anything, it's a thankless job. I'm learning to like my job--thanked or not. Or maybe, more accurately, is I'm praying to like my job more and more.

I hope people who read this don't come away from here thinking I'm some spoiled housewife. I'm really not. It's just I'm in flux right now and trying to figure out what to do. I want to contribute to society while taking care of my little ones and the big guy here at home. I know where there's a will, there's a way.

When life gives you lemons...

Well, a week has gone by since Cody passed away. It's easier now not to cry when I think of her. I think part of it is we are so busy nowadays. Soccer has started back for both kids and this year I love going to the practices. It will be exciting once they start playing games, too.

Lately I've had this restless feeling inside regarding being a homemaker. Frankly, I'm a reluctant homemaker but I'm starting to think it's what I'm going to be forever. So, I've been thinking of a career change. You see, as a nuclear medicine technologist, there just isn't a lot of job opportunity in a small community. The local hospital employs 3 full time techs but could probably get by with two full time techs and one part time tech. The techs are all great to work with but it's not the most progressive hospital. Which means the nuclear med department doesn't do a whole lot of interesting things. I still love working when I get the chance, however. I love using my knowledge about nuclear medicine and I love patient care. I can't explain it, but helping others is definitely my calling. Oh, the curse of being an extrovert. Anyhoo--I do love working and I think it's because I need the people fix. Oh, back to the career change.

Penn State (the Altoona campus) offers a second degree option in nursing. Yes, nursing. I was a nursing major before I switched to Nuc med. The program is a 16 month program and when you get out, you are an RN. I've been thinking of going for this lately. I think I have most prerequisites for the program but the commitment of full time school with a husband and two kids seems a little scary to me. I'm struggling with not working, though. I think if I did this, I would have a chance of getting some regular work, either as a nurse or in some capacity where a nursing degree would allow me to do the job. And it's not about the money. Sure, I love getting paid. Who doesn't? And another paycheck would help Pete realize his dream of owning land and having a winery some day. But, I don't want to be full time. Ugh. Enough of this. You get the picture.

So today I made lemon cake. This cake is probably one of the tastiest desserts I make. It's an Ina Garten recipe, of course. The house smelled so good and I was blaring my iPod while I baked and did laundry.

I've been running lately. Last Friday, I ran a 5K race in 33 min 10 seconds. I've been running over the winter, but this was my first race in a looooonnnnggg time. Since last Friday, I've kept up the running and can tell I'm building up my endurance. It's great to be interested in running again. I really want to lose the extra weight I put on around the middle this last year. Sigh.

So, that's what I've been up to around here. Not much and then again, enough!

So hard to say goodbye...

This was a rough week. We had to put down our 12 year old Black Lab. Turns out she had kidney cancer and by the end was pretty much out of it. She went out with her dignity.

I think back to when I first met her and then when Pete and I got together. She had a hard time accepting me. She would chew up things of mine or tear apart magazines that I had touched. But, over time, she grew to be a loyal and loving dog to me. Yes, even me.

For instance, when I went on bed rest while pregnant with my now 7 year old, Cody lay by my side all day as if she was protecting me. And then after Kendall was born, she would stand between Kendall and whoever was visiting us. She was like a mom herself.

I was shocked by how I was affected by this loss. It still brings tears to my eyes even now while writing this. I miss her howl and her crazy jumping at the sound of the dog food hitting her metal bowl. I can't remember the last time I heard her bark or when she met me at the door. No, she was old and had mostly become a dog who slept all day and night. Guests would be at our house for 30+ minutes before she would come down stairs and realize someone else was here.

Not much to say. She's buried in our back yard now. The kids helped put the soil back over her. Poignant and touching.

Mischievous Cody--the dog who loved chocolate!

It's been an emotional roller coaster this week with our old dog, Cody. It's been at least 9 days since she's eaten and she's really not drinking water, either. We've been giving her sub-cutaneous fluids the last few days and that's about it. The vet is not sure just what is happening other than her kidneys are failing. We don't know what precipitated all of this. She is 12, however. It's still a heart breaker even though she's had a full, charmed life. She's a dog, after all. But, Pete treats his dogs like royalty.

I was so mad this day

Here is a dog who used to eat everything and now turns her head away from peanut butter.

So, we are preparing ourselves for the end of a sweet life.

It's been a long time since I've been able to devote some attention to this blog. Basically, I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off since the kids were on spring break. But, it's been a good busy.

We got to go to DC recently. It was a short trip, but fun. We happened to be there during the National Cherry Blossom. Oh, and we stayed at our friends' house while they were away on vacation. While Clayton was disappointed it wasn't a hotel with a pool, good times were had by all.
Then, last week I worked 3 days at the hospital. It was so good to be back in the saddle. I love working. Something part time would be perfect. Who knows? Maybe one of these days something will work out. For now, I'm still volunteering at the free medical clinic Tuesday mornings.

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